THE EBB AND FLOW OF CONFIDENCE
- Beth Cougler-Blom
- Dec 19, 2025
- 3 min read
...it has occurred to me that
without the ebb of confidence,
we would never experience the joy of the flow of it.
When I was a little girl I was a little bit shy. My mother took me shoe shopping once when I was three years old and I crumbled into crocodile tears when the nice man at the store tried to help us.
But I could also be fearless!
Another time at a playground, I climbed so much higher than my older brother on the monkey bars that my worried mother had to come and prevent me from going any further. I also loved the big Ferris wheel at the fair, something my brother would have none of.
Growing up I fit in easily with my friends, but remember sometimes spending more time listening to than talking with my elders. My large extended family was full of “theatre people” who could often be larger than life — something that I never was, but always liked to be around.
When I was eleven, our family performed The Sound of Music in the community, cast mostly with family members and some close friends. Later on, in my teens, we similarly staged The Pirates of Penzance. It never occurred to me until now that my early experiences with singing and theatre could have helped build the initial foundations of confidence that I would need to stand up in front of other types of audiences later, in my career.
In my twenties I went to university, did a semester of school in France and toured around Europe. I moved to a different province, graduated, went to China on a six-month internship, started a Master’s degree and got married. But all that and I still spent a lot of time thinking that I had to be older than I was to do the one thing that I really wanted to do: teach others. I held myself back, thinking,
What do I know?
Who will take me seriously?
Sometimes my confidence didn’t quite flow as well as I might have wished.
But then my thirties came and I worked my way into a career I love. For the last five years I’ve worked at Volunteer Victoria, speaking in the community about the value of volunteering, and coordinating and delivering workshops for the nonprofit community. Finally, I get to teach! As a bonus, I also get to see how volunteering builds confidence in others and how good first-time trainers feel when they are able to overcome their nerves and successfully deliver their first workshop.
Three and a half years ago I experienced the ultimate loss in confidence: I became a mother.
Even though I generally think I’m a pretty good parent, there are always times when I am really not sure I’m doing what’s best for me or my daughter. My confidence sometimes ebbs and flows hourly in this, the toughest job in the world!
Not one of us is always confident, are we?
I know I’m not, as evidenced above. But in writing this, it has occurred to me that without the ebb of confidence, we would never experience the joy of the flow of it. And perhaps the ebbing keeps us real.
In the end I’ll take both sides of confidence,
and can’t wait to see just how it will all play out in the years ahead.
...to be continued...
By Beth Cougler-Blom . First Published in Island Gals Magazine . 2011 . Volume 1 . Issue 3
